Women's Center Turns 30

From founding mothers to new members, women of all stripes joined together Friday to celebrate their friendships and the 30th anniversary of the Women’s Center of Huntington.

In talking with those attending the celebration at the , where the non-sectarian group is located, common themes emerged of the value of non-judgmental listening and building leadership skills, along with support and friendship.

Helen Bracco and Marianne Halperin, members of the Writers’ Group, where members meet weekly to share their writing and get feedback, like the friendships they have made. “It’s the warmest, most rewarding experience coming here,” Halperin said.

The center uses what it calls agreements to create a safe environment where women can share freely. They include: No advice giving. One woman speaks at a time. Pay attention as each woman speaks. Listen respectfully and non-judgmentally. All personal information is confidential. No put-downs of yourself or others. Speak from your own experiences. Consistent commitment to the group.

“Everyone really gives total attention to listening,” said Joyce Lemonedes, who has been a member since 2007. “They listen and they support. There’s no advice giving. No one assumes they’ve got the answers.”

It’s a women’s approach to problem solving, she said, as people work at self-acceptance and arrive at answers on how to move forward with their lives. Groups meet for a sequence of two or three nights. “Somehow it just happens,” she said. Gloria Hafner, a new member, said she appreciates the collegial support she finds at the center.

The center got its start in March 1981 after Donna Jensen, who had gotten a grant to start a woman’s center in Brooklyn, wanted to open more centers. Jensen and a group of women at Old First applied for a grant to establish centers at Old First and in the Bronx. It became reality and when they sponsored their first event, 300 women showed up, according to their newsletter.

Joan Caly, who joined in September 1981 and is currently on the board, said many of the women attending are at a point of change in their lives and seek help and support in making transitions.

The center has about 250-300 members now, according to board member Barbara Distinti. “You come together to share segments of your life with people and talk about things you wouldn’t talk about elsewhere,” Distinti said. “Everyone’s non-judgmental, accepting and kind. It’s a validating place.”

Carol Morisco said she was part of a divorce support group. “It was supposed to meet for six weeks and it ran for six months,” she said. “I felt like it saved my life.”

Evelyn Degen said the center has changed over the years as many of its members have gotten older, and the focus of support groups has changed along with their needs. The center introduced her to the importance of having support, she said. “It was a revelation,” she said. “I was a loner.”

There’s also an emphasis on developing leadership, always with support. “You didn’t do it on your own,” she said. “We encourage women to find their own selves,” she said. “We encourage them to take charge of their own lives.”

The leadership training at the center is different from other group situations, said Julia Romaine, one of the center’s founding mothers who attended Friday's celebration. “You get the support you need and have a co-leader so you don’t have to lead alone. And you learn to take care of yourself," she said. Romaine said she applied what she learned at the center about leadership by going on to earn her master’s degree and becoming an executive coach. “You try it and lead and move on and take that leadership out,” she said.

She's still practicing that leadership, and recently encouraged a young friend, Kaitlyn Pawlukojc, to attend. Pawlukojc is recently back from the Peace Corps and is looking to get involved. "I like the idea of being a leader and teasing out an idea and making it happen, of finding a voice on issues," Pawlukojc said. 

Along with the memories, food and celebratory cake, the senior tap-dancing troupe The Red Hot Mamas performed, as well as singer Lois Morton, who also is a member of the center’s Writers’ Group. Morton performed several topical numbers, including a witty, rollicking song about being a 20th-century girl in a 21st century world of email and computers: “I know hi-fi and sci-fi. What is this Wi-Fi?”

The Women’s Center has drop-in times from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday through Friday, along with regularly scheduled workshops. For more information and a list of workshops, visit its web site at www.womenscenterli.org.